Opening Day Eve Thoughts

I just ate probably the best chimichanga I’ve ever had accompanied by this 32oz behemoth of a dos equis, and wanted to say a few words before Opening Day.

I think from a personal perspective, this is one of the most anticipated seasons I can remember, for a few reasons. Obviously the fact that we are 4-1 favs for the series is first and foremost, but a strong second is this thing right here, and of course, the way last season ended. But even just as a baseball fan, this particular season is really compelling. You’ve gotta figure the Cubs are going to be pitted against some interesting suspects down the stretch.

Here are a few things to watch:


Here’s game one of the NLCS last year. Sometimes ya gotta go back an relive the pain. Plus, this video has got some cool Japanese letters on it.

First thing that comes to mind for me. The Mets are like the true opposite of the Cubs as far as the roster is concerned. We have a bunch of young position players who are absolute studs, and the Mets have a bunch of young starting pitchers who are just as filthy. We’ve got a pretty old rotation, whereas the veterans on the Mets are some of the top bats. But importantly, the Mets – minus Bartolo – are kids. Hell, the managers are even cut from different clothes. Maddon is a loose, sorta new school guy, while Terry Collins is pretty old school.

All this differently-similar stuff (completely made up term) to me suggests that this is the matchup to pay attention to throughout the year. These teams are going to play each other in the playoffs. That, folks, is a guarantee. Chalk it up. So pay attention.



I think its going to be a blast watching our guys jack homers for a full season. We got treated to mere glimpses last year. This season is going to be a slugfest in Wrigley. Gonna be more homers hit this year than when Sosa was doin’ it (Cubs hit 160 homers in ’98, the year Sosa had 66). Kind of a lot, considering another dude hit 30 and two more hit about 20. But I think this team is more than capable. They have like 8 guys who crush the ball, and a few of those (Bryant, Rizzo, Heyward, Schwarber) have potential to put up 30+. Then you throw in the Solers and Fowlers and Zobrists of the world, and bang! You’ve got some numbers.

Obviously the dark side of talking about home run production from your offense is that it kinda makes you think about how many your pitching staff will give up. I’ll tell you right now; it won’t come down to how many our rotation gives up. Its all about the pen. The boys have got to keep the ball in the yard. But we aren’t gonna worry about that for now, let’s just see how it plays out.



(Really questionable pic, I know. I’m sure someone gave it to Theo for this one, but nonetheless he’s a deal maker. Guy makes deals.)

I’ll make this the last thing because we have lives folks. We get an extra day this year. Because it falls on a Sunday, the deadline has been moved from July 31 to August 1, giving teams an extra 24 hours to deal. The reason I bring it up, is because the Cubs are stockpiled with trade ammo. Plus, Theo said he would be down to make a big deal, said the organization built space in the budget for that purpose, and has a history of big moves like the Nomar Garciaparra trade.

I’m not going to offer any speculation just yet, but I will soon. So stay tuned.

Cubs @ Angels. 10pm ESPN. Let’s freaking do this.


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    postal address? Gov’t is killing you at night with high
    frequency electricity. Theotokos Virgin Mary gave
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    If you pray these prayers diligently, aborted babies are released from hell.
    On each painted nail there are 40 demons. Smoking is censer to the devil.
    Using foul language calls upon Pagan deities (aka demons); Holy Spirit departs on 7 meters.
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    themselves as ghosts and aliens. America will be last country to switch to Euro (antichrist’s
    world currency). Contraceptives = abortion; using contraceptives for 1 year = 5 aborted kids.
    Miscarriages happen because of high heels; cesarean because of tight pants (second generation cesarean will
    be infertile). Unbaptized aborted/miscarried/unborn babies burn in hell
    for 33 and a half years; if pregnant, keep the kid and deliver at home because kids are chipped using IVs and vaccines in hospitals.
    Dentists and doctors chip patients secretly.
    Ultrasound leads to mark of the beast; don’t do
    ultrasound, please. Abortion leads to breast cancer;
    a demon is released from hell for each aborted kid.
    Dogs can become possessed; don’t keep dogs inside you home [Pelageya of Ryazan].
    Walmart has technology to administer mark of the beast to those who have cat bacteria
    in their stomachs; stay away from cats [Afanasiy Sidyachiy].
    Next false flag is the Statue of Liberty. Above earth there is ice (hemisphere);
    when rockets go up they bring ice down from upper sky to lower
    sky; ice stuck in lower sky will fall on us during
    Apocalypse. Earth is flat; earth stands on 3 pillars (the Most Holy Trinity); pillars stand on water at zero Kelvin; underneath this ice there is a
    bubble; and then the abyss. Zodiac is planetary prison of demons;
    don’t believe in horoscopes or you’ll exhibit the traits of the trapped demons.
    Most thoughts and dreams are from demons; demons never do
    good. Sleep fully clothed; pray the Jesus prayer.
    Pray to your guardian angel to have normal sleep.
    Vyacheslav Krasheninnikov was the last prophet before Apostle John (who wrote the Book of Revelation), Enoch, Elijah, resurrected Seraphim
    of Sarov, and resurrected Sergius of Radonezh will preach against
    the antichrist. Humans were created about 7525 years ago.
    Birds participate in time creation. It’s a sin to kill
    birds. Dinosaurs live under our level; they will get out
    through sinkholes and lakes; to kill them, go for their nerves.
    Save the birds; but kill the dinosaurs. First dinosaur will come out of Volga River in Russia.

    Scientists don’t see dinosaurs under our level because of radiation. Sinkholes happen because
    people dig for resources underground and because earth is heating up.
    Demons grow human skin (from a sample taken during abduction) and put it on so as to look like us.
    Demons will invite people to be healed inside their UFOs;
    those who go will be like zombies after. Gov’t provides demons with diamonds and allows demons to abduct people.
    If you’re being abducted, slowly pray the Jesus prayer.
    Don’t panic. Demons use diamonds and souls to power their UFO craft.
    The bigger the diamond, the more it lasts. Demons have 4 UFO bases:
    1)moon 2)inside fake mountain Kailash in Tibet 3)in lake Baikal in Russia
    4)in Atlantis which is underneath the Mariana
    Trench in Pacific Ocean. There are no aliens. Nobody lives on other planets.
    Airplanes that go down are hit by demons because they need the airspace to fight
    Jesus. Antichrist is pale with red eyes. He’s possessed by Satan since
    he’s 12 years old [Lavrentiy Chernigovskiy]. He flies
    super fast; deceived people will say: “Christ is here; Christ is there” when he’s flying from one city to the next
    very fast. He wears gloves to hide long nails. He’s surrounded
    by demons who appear as angels of light. Antichrist will
    trick people that he can do mountain moving and resurrection using holograms; fire
    from the sky is real because of pollution gases in the atmosphere.
    Antichrist will have food only for 6 months; then he
    will feed his 666ed people flour from mashed up turtles (Tavrion Batozskiy), but this won’t be enough because 666ed people are 10 times as angry
    and 7 times as hungry as normal people even though 666ed people
    became shorter (3-4 feet tall = 80 – 120 cm) because nanochips do function of organs (organs diminish) [Nilus Myrrhgusher].
    If you have a lot of nanochips in your forearm, then you will not
    be able to make proper Orthodox sign of the cross (last mercy for you will be to cut your forearm off).

    Nanochips are sprayed by the gov’t using chemtrails; they’re also in gov’t food and medicine; so, eat food from
    your own garden. In case garden is destroyed
    by ice from the sky, have chickens for eggs and goats for milk (Paisios).
    Lipstick contains cells of aborted fetuses, dog fat,
    and placenta; human flesh is in McDonalds, Pepsi, toothpaste,
    antiaging, anticancer, vaccines, perfume, etc.; that’s why you should not be using anything that modern society has to offer.
    You’re better off hiding within a 10-12 people group
    in order to escape Apocalypse. During Apocalypse,
    Chrtistians will eat dirt from under pussywillowtree as it’s filled
    with tears of Theotokos Virgin Mary; this water will flee if a 666ed person tries
    to get it. Barcode is Druid black magic curse; QRcode is Mayan curse; when food is scanned, it becomes dead because laser is
    a substance from demons. Don’t go into a UFO to be healed by demons.
    Green 666 is given by isotope rays on wrist or forehead when people stretch hands to
    receive small plastic grey card with no name on it (World Passport).
    It doesn’t just have to be during this procedure (could be anything you sign up for or anywhere where there is a secret scanner); biometrics
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    are very dangerous because they could mark you secretly.

    Gabriel Urgebadze said that they do it on index finger
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    cost. Police will microchip and isotope ray people on highways.
    Chipped people will be influenced by computers
    to take grey plastic card; but when they do, green mark by isotope rays is given on forehead/wrist.
    Food stores will isotope ray people too. Antichrist will also release prisoners to
    mark people. Reject 666 at all cost because it leads to permanent hell.
    If you’re about to be marked, pray the Jesus prayer. Hide with Orthodox
    Christians to escape 666; leave all electronics behind so that
    antichrist’s minions can’t track you; burn documents because they’re from Satan.
    The Most Holy Trinity gives you a name during baptism; devil gives
    an antiname during antibaptism (ex. Social Security Number).
    People who die with these Satanic documents go to concentration camp in hell
    to await Final Judgement; once the BEAST Computer
    is burned down, souls will be released for Final Judgement.

    That’s why you should give back documents of your deceased relatives back to the gov’t so that
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    Feed the pigeons; when pigeons bow down, people are saved from temporary hell.
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